Carina Cole ’22
Due to over-enrollment at many colleges during COVID-19 and the subsequent switch to test optional admissions at many institutions, the Class of 2022 has not had the best luck thus far in the college admissions process. By now, almost every senior has felt the Curse of March 18, a.k.a. the now notorious great release of waitlist and rejection letters sent by top colleges (that gave numerous Cum Laude seniors a much needed ego check as well). These recent events have resulted in a ubiquitous low morale, one affecting even those who have already been accepted to colleges, such as future University of Pennsylvania student Zain Qureshi ‘22.
“The whole establishment was even more corrupt than I initially perceived. When I saw all of my highly qualified close friends getting waitlisted and rejected, I knew that we [the senior class] had to do something to put smiles back on our faces,” stressed Qureshi. Qureshi brought his concerns to student and class council members Avo Reid ‘22, Matthew Tavarez ‘22, Folake Okunsanya ‘22, Monique Garcia ‘22, Emma Shuford ‘22, and Harriet Brown ‘22. “As president, I knew that making a change really came down to the students themselves and finding a realistic solution that the whole senior class could get behind,” noted Reid. “That’s when I suggested experimenting with the wondrous effects of medical marijuana,” chirped Shuford. “With my position as Treasurer, I teamed up with grade dean David Bell to crack into Mercersburg’s endowment and harness enough funds to purchase a small crop of land in the Pacific Northwest with room to build cabins for students to live in after graduation.”
With a new attitude, the class council decided that the Pacific Northwest was the perfect place to start their weed farming journey. This region has a rich agricultural economy and ideal farming conditions, with bountiful spouts of rain and sprawling fertile land. Moreover, because health and wellness is so important to Mercersburg, exploring the beneficial effects of marijuana seemed to be in alignment with the school’s core values. Tavarez and Brown, who recently rescinded their admission agreements with Vassar College and Tulane University, respectively, streamlined research on the correlation of marijuana use with reduced anxiety.
Taking one for the team, they, along with the rest of the class and student council, have already moved out to the first cabin purchased. Truly representing Mercersburg’s spirit of lofty ideals and unmatched leadership, Brown and Tavarez tested a sample batch of the senior classes’ latest crop. “It was a strange experience, if I’m being honest. For the first time in my life I started walking and talking slowly,” recalled Brown.
There certainly has been a fresh and excited energy around campus, especially in the upperclassmen dorms, as students begin packing in preparation to move out West. “It really has been such a spiritual, visceral experience,” emphasized Reid. “Unexpectedly, the student and class council has actually been able to make immense progress on an issue students genuinely care about.”
“Thank you David Bell! UPenn is dumb!” exclaimed a glowing Qureshi. It is refreshing seeing a class invest their efforts in an industry dedicated to making others happy.