Bube Osaji ’22
Mercersburg welcomed spring last Friday, March 21 with the promise of new beginnings and the release of exciting news for the school – the construction of a 30,000-person capacity stadium for the eight-man football team. Head of school Quentin McDowellc made the announcement. “There is truly no better way to ring in this spring and an unknown future than with the construction of a professional football stadium, equipped with everything from a roll-back roof, to a private gym, from automatic Slurpee stands to conditioning hot tubs. This facility will truly make us unique among our peer schools.”
In addition to luxury boxes available for purchase by the schools’ biggest fans, the stadium has invited big-brand names like Utz to sponsor food stalls where excited local supporters, students, and alumni can pick up Mercersburg branded merchandise signed by the team as well as hot dogs, popcorn, and various food and drink items.
The project gained traction after Mercersburg Academy’s football team led the school through a winning streak to the championship title of friendly football matches. “The recruiting has been crazy. A large percentage of the incoming class of 2026 plays football. I made sure of this,” admission director Zach Swope said.
Construction plans are already steadily on their way, with speculation surrounding the location of Mercersburg Academy’s golden ticket. “I am not sure if Burgin and Rutledge are that important. I say we knock down those buildings and build this stadium right in the middle of it all,” groundskeeper Spike Tammi said.
Other members of the Mercersburg community fully support making our fantasy football league a reality. Just last week, numerous Board of Trustee members traveled to meet with world-renowned architectural firm Harland and Wolff, best known for their work on the Titanic, to look at prospective grounds. They were seen speaking with the ebullient eight about creating a legacy that will live beyond their time serving on the board at Mercersburg. “I think they want to have their faces carved into the walls of the stadium,” said Bube Osaji ’24, head cheerleading captain of the recently founded Blue Storm Eight. The cheerleading squad was yet another recent addition to the range of PGAs at Mercersburg. Rick Hendrickson said, “I hope that the addition of the cheerleading squad will, alongside the new stadium, further enhance the culture around football at Mercersburg. We hope to create an environment where all students and community members can get excited about this celebrated staple among sports.
“I am glad that the swimmers are no longer getting all the attention,” said Peter Piper ’25. Piper, who has been a long-standing water boy for the football team, is not the only one who appreciates the newfound respect for Mercersburg’s most fantastic sport.
Of course, there are some doubts surrounding the multi-millionaire dollar project. Glenn Neufeld was reported by an anonymous swimmer to be wandering forlornly through the halls of the Goldthorpe Athletic Complex, streaks of tears etched distinctively into the now sunken cheeks of his despondent expression. After numerous attempts to contact him, Neufeld has continued to evade human interaction. He was last seen staring into emptiness, locked alone in the Lloyd Aquatic Center. It has been two weeks since the announcement of the new project, yet the door remains locked.
Regardless, the new stadium spells a promising future for athletic excellence, not only on Mercersburg’s immediate campus but also in the world beyond. “The wild success of our eight-man team and the promise of a new facility has prompted me to consider our recruiting options as we shape the future of American football,” said coach Andy Brown.